The Voice of the White House for November 23rd 2007

    Washington, D.C., “Now we learn, from clandestine filchings from the PDB, that some evil person in Pakistan, probably some of their generals, have made off with cores for atomic weapons from their repositories. What does this mean? The probability of some kind of nuclear accident based on the militancy in the Muslim world. No one, not the useless CIA, the Pentagon or any other U.S. intelligence agency has the slightest idea what happened to the deadly nuclear cores. We know they were stolen and very recently and an attempt made to conceal this. We know that it would be impossible to steal these from the custody of the Pakistani military without top level assistance. What are we doing about it? Nothing but pray a lot.

    The political situation in Pakistan is at the critical mass point and our response is to pretend everything is wonderful, just like we’re pretending everything is just peachy in Baghdad, and that no more bombs are going off in crowded mosques or markets. If you put your head in the sand once too often, you can get a vicious kick in the ass.”

The Harry Brunser Report

Editor’s note: Mr. Brunser is an excellent source of official top-level, inside foreign intelligence information.

    The current situation in Pakistan as of November 21, 2007, is roughly this: Desperate to hang on to power at any cost mainly because of his access to unlimited and uncontrolled U.S. cash gifts, General Pervez Musharraf is refusing to stand down on his draconian declaration of martial law in Pakistan. Threats and pleadings from Washington result in vague assurances of “coming elections” but there has been no action on Musharraf’s part to defuse what is a very serious problem. The Islamic fundamentalists on his borders with Afghanistan are growing stronger and as the Pakistani army is being used to control internal dissents, are moving into territory once considered securely in the hands of that organization. Growing public outrage at the crackdown pales into insignificance in comparison with the hyper-critical situation with Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal.

    True, the domestic crisis is masking the really critical issue ─ and nobody in the American security community seems to have considered the possibility that someone with access to the nuclear cores could abscond with two or three cores quite successfully, by replacing them with spheres of the same size machined from depleted uranium, of which latter material the USA has used literally hundreds of tons as 50-caliber ammunition and anti-tank rounds in Iraq and Kosovo. Depleted uranium ammunition is considered "harmless" by the USA and is extremely loosely controlled. Anyone with military connections could probably easily obtain several hundred pounds of this material in the form of DU ammunition, and re-machine it into metal spheres perfectly mimicking, in size, appearance, and weight, the real atomic cores. All that remains is to substitute the DU spheres for the HEU spheres during an inspection and tallying process. We do not know Pakistan's monitoring procedures, which are surely highly secret, but certainly such inspections must be performed quite regularly, most probably by two, or less likely three people, and would present an easy opportunity for substitution when a colleague is distracted or has his back turned. If the inspections consisted merely of a numerical count, and did not include testing with a Geiger counter (which is unlikely, except very occasionally to ensure the core had not deteriorated) the substitution could go unnoticed for years.

    This scenario should cause an immense furor, when you publicly claim that such a thing has actually happened. Not only might this conceivably have happened in Pakistan, but anywhere that nuclear cores are stored. Every nuclear power as a result will be soiling themselves and scrambling to test their thousands of stored cores. However, since Pakistan is swarming with Islamic crazies, even among its top scientists, it is most terrifying to contemplate this having happened there.

    All of this having been said, we have it on very reliable information that at least six nuclear cores have been taken and had substitutes installed in their place. This has happened within the past two and a half months. Although we are aware of this, we do not know who took them (though it had to be done with high-level military cooperation), and we do not know what the thieves are going to do with them. Our sources indicate that on a scale of ten, nine indicates an attack on India, probably the huge marketplace in Delhi. Naturally, we cannot inform India of this because if we plan any military action in Pakistan, which is now being very seriously considered, we will need India for a forwarding base. For this reason, we have lied to India and assured them that we have taken custody of all the atomic weapons. What we did not tell them is that six of the cores have been taken and we have no idea where they are, who took them or what they plan to do with them. Given that very high level Pakistani military personnel had to have been involved, their coverup is intense and to date, we have been unable to penetrate their security. Outward friendliness is the watchword but secret plotting is the actuality.